Head is a mess! - Talk About Marriage

Poppy, I'm sad to hear that you're stuck on how he let you down so badly that you're daughter is going to be raised in a loveless marriage.

At least, that's how it sounds to me.

You guys *can* get over it, but it might mean that you have to learn how to get what you want and need from him. Obviously, asking for it doesn't work.

Instead of asking, try making a simple statement: "This Saturday, I'm going to XYZ, and you'll need to watch our daughter or hire a sitter. Which do you prefer?"

It may help you to realize he probably doesn't realize how his behavior affects you. Even if you describe it to him, it's not something he can relate to, so it doesn't really register that it is "THAT" important.

I've found that there are a lot of men who just don't work in words, but who work fine when action takes place. The problem is that women tend to avoid action until they have their partner's buy-in, while the guys often don't bother giving that buy-in.

Expect your guy to resist the sudden change at first. That's natural when something happens that we don't expect and is clearly a game changer. But when you want him to do something, try taking the dominant stance and just telling him where to be and when. You won't always get your way, but it'll start him listening, I bet.

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